Ill Nino Recording New Album – Promise Additional Bongos

Ill Nino Band Group Photo

Latin-infused-nu-metal-wank-off veterans Ill Nino have somehow managed to keep their incredibly mediocre career on life support for nearly 15 years, after a long run with Roadrunner and a brief stay at the now deceased Cement Shoes Records. Currently waving the Victory Records flag after Victory realized the potential cash-stacking opportunity in front of them, Ill Nino have returned to the studio to record the follow up to 2010’s Dead New World. You hear that one? No, you didn’t. Can you believe these assholes have a “Best of” album? No, you can’t.

Frontman Cristian Machado has commented on the upcoming effort, slated for the summer of 2012, stating their intentions in progressing Latin metal and acknowledges the astonishment that they are still making music.

“It’s 2012 & we’re all still alive. It’s time to redefine Latin metal.”

Drummer and founder, Dave Chavarri also elaborated on the band’s songwriting process for the record.

“This time around, we want to explore Latin and Tribal rhythms we have never explored in the past 5 releases, giving us no musical boundaries at all.”

Fucking right. The people have spoken. Demographic targeted. The revolution has begun. PUT YOUR FUCKING HELMET ON. Ill Nino (Spanish for “Sick Nino“) is going to “redefine Latin metal”. OH-FUCKING-BOY! You know what that means… MORE WEED, MORE BONGOS, MORE DREADS. All of which fall under the category HOOD METAL AS FUCK.

I’m pretty sure no one would give a shit about Ill Nino if the Latinos weren’t taking shit over in this country. Unfortunately, we’re all so god damned stupid that we’re unable to appreciate shit that’s good, only what we can relate to from people who look like us. Otherwise, these dicks would be slangin’ tacos from the back of a pickup truck in a Home Depot parking lot somewhere.

Tricky waters, but we here at Hood Metal are experts at cutting through the fog. You may think Ill Nino’s terribly shitty music is too offensive to tolerate under any circumstances, but here is where you’d be DEAD-FUCKING-WRONG, BRO. The Nino’s no doubt MASSIVE secret stash of fine smokables more than compensates for their atrocities against my ear holes. It’s actually illegal in 19 states to wear dreadlocks without having at least a roach waiting for you in your 1992 Isuzu pickup to burn on your lunch break. Plus those bongos will come in handy whenever a tribal drum circle breaks out, which is often when you have nearly 10 miles of dreadlock in the same room.

Jesús is coming, hide your bong. HOOD CERTIFIED

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Author: Juice View all posts by
QUIT FRONTIN' BRAH

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