Enabler’s “All Hail the Void” Sparks Nationwide Panty Fire

All Hail the Void

Gotta take a break from sporadically reporting metal and hardcore news weeks past relevancy to drop a lil’ underground science. Like… highly volatile, blowing shit up in your basement type science. The type of shit that would give Joe Rogan such a massive erection, you could lock that python up and take it to the mat in an arm bar. Don’t wrench too hard.

BRO. Have you even listened to Enabler? Seriously. HAVE YOU? If not, I’m not going to dress you down and question your fortitude in front of your girlfriend or anything, but keep an extinguisher handy, because one listen is guaranteed to set your mother’s panties ablaze. Serious… they ain’t playin’ games. I stumbled across these guys reading a year-end list in my underpants on the excellent, and infinitely more respectable, underground metal blog, Equivoke. Frequent that site. It’s legit.

So, let’s get after it. “All Hail the Void” was my introduction to these boys, and sweet sassy Jesus, the relentless terror rained down from these Milwaukee motherfuckers is biblical as shit. When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come rollin’ into town aboard their majestic steeds, expect some Peter Dinklage lookin’ mother on a donkey to be bumbling behind, blasting Enabler from a boombox like it’s 1985. The soundtrack to our utter demise. It’s been foretold in the scrolls.

Channeling the frantic, unstable fury of a coked up Amanda Bynes, “All Hail the Void” stampedes though 34 minutes of filthy hardcore like a thunderous herd of famished Mariah Carey clones en route to the nearest Burger King, leaving a wake of devastation and tears. Brim with ruthless, slam-your-head-in-a-car-door riffs, Enabler exhibit a keen sense of control over their groovy heft, providing just the right moments to rip bong loads catch your breath before absolutely annihilating your candy ass with a delightful fervor. No forced attempts at appeasing a broader audience here. Just heavy artillery.

Needless to say, I’ve been jamming the shit out of these doods. It’s my go-to when I need to kick into straight beast-mode and power through some of life’s more mundane tasks. My neighbors probably have some pretty sweet video footage of me bouncing around my front yard like Fred Durst as I make grass my bitch. Gotta do whatcha gotta do, BRO. If only my lawn were emo.

See what I did there?

So, I know you’ve got a big day of giving your iguana a bath and pretending to apply for jobs online, but sacrifice a few of your precious minutes to jam these BROz. Then, when you realize how large you’ve been blowing it, go buy some Enabler merch and whatnot. They released a pretty titties EP back in April as well, so be sure to grab that. Fuck… buy it all. You were just going to snort it up your nose anyway.

Enabler Merch
Enabler Official Site
Enabler on Facebook
Enabler on Twitter

*Gnarly Bonus Live Video

SHARE THIS POST

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Myspace
  • Google Buzz
  • Reddit
  • Stumnleupon
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Technorati
Author: Juice View all posts by
QUIT FRONTIN' BRAH

Leave A Response

You must be logged in to post a comment.