Cruel Hand Drop New Banger “Monument Square People”

Cruel Hand The Negatives

Like John Popper’s toilet after a night of hot wings, warm beer and a full set at the county fair, I’m pretty backed up and anxiously seeking relief.

That’s not even fair. I like John Popper, and didn’t that fugger lose weight? Dirty pool.

AT ANY RATE… circumstances are dire, and without an outlet to satiate my need to talk hood metal, I find myself screaming cliches like Perez Hilton at one of his classic all-male bikini-bottom pool parties (YOLO BISHES! ON NO YOU DI’NT!) and breaking down the subtle differences between thrash and crossover to my girlfriend at six in the morning while she straightens her hair and rolls her eyes.

So here I is… back on that grind and geeking the fuck out to some new shit hittin’ the streetz (the Z indicates my credibility amongst the disenfranchised).

So, what’s on today’s menu?

CRUEL. FUCK. HAND. MOTHERFUCKER.

The tale of how I came to discover this band of straight-edge ruffians isn’t interesting… so here it is: I dig some acts on the Bridge Nine label and browsed a bit through other bands on their roster. Stumbled across Cruel Hand and thought to myself, “Dear God, what an indomitably fucking harsh band name, I must go to there“. Fired up 2010’s Lock & Key on the old Spotify and much to my delight, it was a fuggin’ banger, despite less-than savory production. Perhaps Spoty’s copy for streaming is an old cassette hooked up to a car stereo out of a ’92 Ford Tempo, what do I know?

Anyway, a few months pass, the Cruel Hand catalog makes its way through my rotation a few times, mud-stomping transpires, life rolls forward. Then, on another of the countless mornings I find myself in need of a solid hardcore record to get my testosterone levels up and focus sharp in order to maintain apex predator status amongst the cattle, I recall the Hand that is Cruel. LO AND BEHOLD, an EP release I hadn’t noticed prior is just sitting there on my screen, looking hard-as-fuck: Born Into Debt, We All Owe A Death.

I don’t know how I missed news of it. I mean… I liked them on Facebook ages ago AND have the Following option checked, so I should be getting their updates and shit straight to my bloodstream, like the filthy doper that I am, but I didn’t. Obama and Facebook conspiring once again to ruin my life.

Right off the bat, I was shitting my pants. All three tracks are tasty as fuck, but I badly need to focus on the opener, “Heat”. The track opens with drums rolling into some buck-nasty slapping of the bass, then it just ERUPTS into all-out hostility-fueled chaos. Makes me want to grab a sledge hammer and lay down fuggin’ railroad tracks. Makes me want to grab twenty-one babies, shake ’em like cans of beer, then line ’em up like it’s a military funeral and watch them spray patriotic vomit all over friends and family. God bless America. The whole track just fucking bleeds everything I love about hardcore. Thanks to last.fm, I can tell you exactly how many times I’ve jammed the track: 83. 83 goddamned times. By the end of today, it’ll be in the nineties. That’s how hard this track goes.

Needless to say, I’ve been pretty stoked on what’s over the horizon for these doods. They have a lot of game and their delivery is only going to tighten, which brings me to the promotional portion of this jergoff session…

NEW RECORD! NEW RECORD! NEW RECORD!

Get out your wallet and shove money electronically at these guys. All of it. They have a new LP due September 23rd entitled The Negatives, with pre-orders available. Early last week, they dropped a video for a new track off The Negatives, and I’ve been beating the shit out of it ever since. Track straight parties, and I suspect the record will propel them towards alpha status. It’s best not to question and just purchase. Take my word for it, I’m a professional.

Enjoy “Monument Square People“… it’s a rippah.

Buy their shit here: http://smarturl.it/getthenegatives
Buy their shit on iTunes here: http://smarturl.it/thenegatives

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Author: Juice View all posts by
QUIT FRONTIN' BRAH

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